Only a few people knew at this point that I loved modelling and had a dream to use it to inspire and uplift others.
I was quite worried about others opinions and what they would say, so I kept it to myself and thought nothing of it.
However in the summer of 2011 I went to a beautiful house called Wiston Estate where an event called “David’s Tent” took place. (http://davidstent.net)
Named after the character of David in the Bible, the event was focusing on worship, freedom and expression of ourselves.
Worship is the one major time I get to be TRULY myself. There is no judgement – you can dance, sing, paint, (whatever it may be) with Jesus.
Jonathan Self, (http://www.jonathanself.co.uk) saw beyond my outward beauty and into my heart. He drew that out and captured my love for Jesus, making me realise that THAT is the most beautiful thing and what needed to be captured on camera. I felt totally alive.
This shoot was the very START of me believing my desires could come true.
In that moment of him believing in me I started to believe in myself. That birthed something inside me.
He captured my heart and who I am. Similarly saying: “I can see Jesus in your eyes” (Heidi Baker 2012).
I can’t explain it other than I saw myself differently when I looked into the camera. It felt like it was through another pair of eyes. My shame and fears dropped off and I felt like royalty, precious, seen, known, held, forgiven and loved. Feelings that I can still feel right now!
It was an unforgettable experience.
I saw for the first time that God has given us each dreams and desires to pursue unashamedly, no matter what they are, they will have a purpose beyond what we imagined.
Who we are is all that matters to Him, as we get to reflect him and His character.
“I am His masterpiece” –
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made, my works are wonderful I know that full well”
What Jonathan managed to capture:
A rich simplicity….