SO many of us have dreams: big dreams, small dreams, hidden dreams, expressed dreams….the list goes on. Yet what are the dreams on your heart? Do you feel fully free to go for those dreams?
Dreaming for me has always been a BIG part of who I am. I love to dream. Yet dreaming is also a super vulnerable thing for me too. What if I fail? What if no one else cares? What if I get disappointed?
Recently I have felt God reawakening old dreams in me and asking me if I will dream again for those very things I felt Him previously ask me to let go of. Through this process it has been an incredible journey of learning to trust my Father’s heart and that His times and seasons are SO different to mine. He is not constricted or restricted to my timings. He is so powerful and so beyond earthly time. This blows my mind to even start trying to comprehend. Yet the freedom I have found since the day I felt God ask me to take off my watch as a physical metaphor for letting go of time, has been phenomenally powerful and so liberating for me. I didn’t even realise how much time had held me back in the past and how much I measured my success and who I am in relation to time.
Letting go of it has actually enabled me to start seeing my heart be brave enough to take little steps forward towards the dreams in my heart and to believe that NOTHING is impossible for God to do at any point in my life.
He is an incredibly good Father and the more I rest in His goodness and plans for my life, the more I see how easily my desires can come about as I realise more and more how when our heart is in line with God’s, so are our desires!
This beautiful opportunity to go to Ecuador at the end of March is slowly approaching and in order to get there I have had to raise $2885 in order to go. At first I really couldn’t see how this amount of money could be raised and was super nervous to even think about exposing my need of financial support for this. However within the last week I felt challenged to face my pride in asking people to support me and sent out an instagram video explaining what I will be doing and sharing my need of $800 within the next 2 days. I sang a spontaneous song and managed to be freely myself throughout the process. Despite feeling super nervous and embarrassed to share this, I simply clicked “Share” and “done” and went to bed that night.
In the morning I woke up to two notifications about donations sent to me. The first one was a $1 donation. After reading the message from the senders, I was moved in my heart as they expressed how stretched they are for money and yet felt moved to support me in this. I was so touched by this act of faith that despite the size of the gift, it was actually more about the size of their hearts and faith in this small seed into my life. As a result I began to just thank God out loud for their contribution.
The second donation was $120 from an anonymous donator (who I am so thankful to – whoever you are!).
Amazed that people had responded to my request I was moved to be the receiver. Then during that day it dawned on me that I still had around $600 to raise and wasn’t sure how that would happen. As I was thinking this I felt I needed to be honest with God about my fears and doubts that He was able to come through and that I was worth the investment. As I started to express this I felt a conviction in my heart to repent (=change the way I am thinking) about this and ask for God’s perspective on this. As I fully let go of my small thinking I began to just thank God for His wild goodness and for the $1 donation, as to me that spoke so much greater than a huge donation. I began to thank Him from a really overflowing heart and trusting that He is SO able to add many “0’s” to the 1! I could feel my whole heart shift. He then began to speak to me while I watched two dancers from stage dancing with the most beautiful white cloth. I felt an overwhelming sense of God saying: “money is nothing to me. I own it all”. In that moment peace was restored and faith assured.
Almost during this moment I felt a tap on my shoulder and I was taken aside by someone who wanted to speak with me. Agreeing to help on a few errands for them in the near future, they then told me they’d like to cover the rest of my missions trip money for this penultimate deadline! I was speechless. So in shock. I honestly could barely utter: “Wow, thank you so much. Are you sure?” I was spell bounded by their generosity and the investment in my life they were willing to pay. Honestly moved to tears I soon enough just began to weep at God’s faithfulness, timing and extravagant heart.
- It taught me so much that when you ask you receive.
- To celebrate the smallest gifts and surprises.
- That what you celebrate increases!